Not So Prompt Thoughts on Father’s Day

Let’s be honest, as made up Parent Appreciation Days go, Mother’s Day wins. It’s got the pageantry, the church services, the bourgeois brunches and all the assorted emotional fanfare that comes with making something totally made up successful. Not to mention, the mothers have better songs: The Intruders “I’ll Always Love My Mama”, Boyz II Men, “A Song For Mama”, even Tupac’s (even though you was a crack fieeeeeend mama) “Dear Mama” are all iconic songs dedicated to mothers. What’s the first song that comes to mind when you think about fathers? The Temptations “Papa Was a Rolling Stone, in the chorus, the mother laments his death and all of the loneliness he bequeathed them. Wtf? I won’t even get into the whole single mother shout out’s that happen on Father’s Day, I want to keep this post classy.

Honestly, I don’t think father’s care too much. We recognize that Father’s Day was a political move done to give us parity on the parent appreciation front, and we appreciate that, but in the end, we recognize the day is an afterthought, the Hallmark of equivalent of ‘oh yeah you guys too’. It’s cool, because as I took in all of the adulation via text message for having unprotected sex with my wife a few times too many, I started to think, you know what would really show some fatherly appreciation? Not cards, not Facebook posts, or gift sets or whatever, but what would really show some appreciation would be if the wife got all of the kids dressed, packed them in the minivan and left the house all day. Basically, remove all reminders of fatherhood, and let me forget what it means to be responsible for sheltering, feeding and clothing my own progeny. I think that would be kinda awesome, right?


Two minivans better than one?


A few months ago, my oldest two children’s daily civil war had me wishing for a larger vehicle.  A larger vehicle you say?  Something more roomy, more comfortable, something more awesome than the minivan?  Agreed, not possible.  However, as of August 6, 2009 the number of children that I will haul around in minivan awesomeness has doubled.  While the Caravan can seat seven relatively comfortably, add three baby seats and five bodies and the Caravan comes up a little short.

The self-improvement set would employ something cliche like ‘With every challenge an opportunity is presented’.  A broken clock is right at least twice a day.  But this an opportunity.  A new vehicle is needed and with a family of eight, why not try and get another minivan?

While the funds are still tight, it doesn’t stop me from pining after the sexiness of this, or the hautness of this, or the American genius of this!  However, the wife is using this opportunity to go after gas guzzling symbols of soccer mom status like this or even this.  It hurts a little, the wife not wanting live the loco life with me in the minivan.  But a man can dream right?