Flying with the Pigeons

This is random, and well, it’s random. I haven’t been driving the minivan as much as I used to. The morning routine has become radically simplified with the addition of a second vehicle as well as having two of our school aged children ride the school bus. So my moments in the minivan aren’t as frequent as they used to be unfortunately.

But back to the randomness. On the way back home from dropping my son off to school, I came across some pigeons. There was a small flock (I guess they were a flock) of them milling about around some leftover food in the street. I was driving slow because I was in a school zone, but didn’t brake for these pigeons because pigeons know better. I expected them to scatter while I drove through and then double back to whatever it was they were eating. Instead, they scattered and flew the same direction I happened to be driving. For a brief moment, maybe 5 or 6 seconds it felt like I was flying. I don’t think we were in any formation or anything, but…I told you it was random.

Kind of felt like the opening credits to Dr. Strangelove.


The Dropoff (Pause)

I don’t know about you, but I hate running late.  I can’t say that I always make it on time, but it is a daily aspiration of mine.  That being said, dropping the kids of to school in the morning is our most daunting challenge of the day.  In order to get everyone to school on time, somtimes sacrifices have to be made.  Breakfast frequently loses.  Also, a responsible amount of gas may be forgone in the interest of punctuality.  Minor traffic laws and defensive driving maneuvers are also to be tossed aside if necessary when combatting the tardy bell. 

In general, my level of agitation is increased in the mornings while all of this is going on.  However, there is one thing that runs me EXTRA HOT while getting where we need to go.  Those of you familiar with this routine may recognize this part.  Typically, a school will have some sort of drop off spot for the kids.  Semi-circle driveway, one way traffic, cars move in, kids get out, cars move out.  This process works as smoothely  as can be expected.  Kids are slow to get out.  Every morning they seem surprised and unprepared to leave the car.  Sometimes it’s the kids fault.  Other times it’s the parents fault. (lunch money, jacket left behind, donut on the way out, last minute motivational speech…who knows)  It’s all part of the process. 

Here’s what is unnecessary; kid has everything (lunch money in pocket, donut in hand, jacket on back, goodbye kiss firmly smacked) and is on the way to the door.  What does the parent do? They pause.  Precious seconds slip by as we all watch Jon Jon’s waterhead bobble all the way up to the school door.  I hate Jon Jon.  It’s residual though, because even more so, I hate Jon Jon’s parent.  Jon Jon is gonna be fine those forty or so paces to the school door.  I understand that his big waterhead might make him prone to tipping over and busting his skull wide open. But the kid has potential.  Watching him all the way to the school door isn’t going to stop some life altering tragedy from happening.  Trust me, nobody else wants your kid.  So show a little faith, and more importantly get the h-e-double hockey sticks out the way!