I love you Daddy. That’s what my oldest triplet has been hitting me with for the last couple of days. If he wasn’t my son, I might be moved by such an open and random declaration of affection. But he is my son, and this is an obvious attempt at emotional manipulation and I am not fooled.

I’ll admit, the first few seconds after he first hit me with the ILYD, I may have turned into some vague form of human putty, but the brain got smart when the heart played stupid. I mean I saw how he said what he said, all doe-eyed and sweet and thrown over his left shoulder. It was nothing to him, because he went right back to playing whatever game he was playing on the iPad.

I knew then that he was playing me, but I just wasn’t sure what his angle was. Was it the fact that he was sitting there playing games on the iPad when he was really supposed to be banned from it? Or maybe it was some pre-emptive butter-up for for some future related fiasco, like another destroyed ceiling fan, or a package of Oreo’s consumed for breakfast, or bringing a fresh pile of poo in his pants to me with the words “I boo-booed.” spoken in a deadpan/matter of fact tone.

He’s also been saying it randomly to his mother, his brothers, and his sisters, building goodwill shotgunning these “I love you’s” all willy nilly. I might believe this kid if it weren’t for all the misery he puts (and will continue to put) me through, but then again, maybe I should take these while I can get ’em. Collect them now and put them away for one of those days when he tells me what a jackass of a father I’ve been. I’ll be able to pull one of those vintage ILYD’s circa 2014 out and think about how I doubted it back then, and now, it’s the best thing ever.


Worst Summer Ever

It’s been a few months since we last spoke. Well we don’t really speak now do we? I write something on this negligible blog and you politely read (god bless your poor little soul if you do read this) and hopefully think ‘that was amusing’ or ‘this is kind of funny’ or ‘what the?’. But whatever, it’s been a while.

And for what it’s worth, I have had plenty of ideas come into my head about new blog posts that never came to fruition. But, like a good procrastinator I spent my down time doing other things that were even less productive than putting together sentences for a blog that few people read.

It wasn’t all laziness on my part though, let’s just say that a brief spat with unemployment, no summer programs for the kids, triple digit weather, and a drought that doesn’t look like it will let up until next year is exhausting. It’s a recipe for a lot of down time spent together in close quarters; and as big as this house is, it wasn’t big enough this summer.

But all of that is over now. School has started, and it is back to just me and the babies. We’ve had a few outdoor excursions in the minivan since, and I hope to update soon. Until then, this post will serve as a placeholder for more to come.

This post needs a song doesn’t it?