“I’m ready, all I have to do is put on my shoes and socks”. It’s a reasonable enough statement for people who already know where their shoes and socks are. For my wife and daughter, it’s more of an estimator of readiness than an actual declaration.
Based on this non-scientific observation, I would have thought that this was something gender specific; but one morning while my daughter and I were ignoring each other, thumbing through our respective Instagram feeds in the car, she noticed a kid get dropped off at the bus stop with a pair of shoes and socks in his hand.
“Is he holding his shoes and socks in his hand?” she says. In my head, I begin to tick off reasons why a goofy high school kid that looked like he slept in his t-shirt and jeans would be carrying a pair of shoes and socks as opposed to wearing them: 1) maybe those are his gym shoes 2) maybe he plays baseball and those are his baseball cleats 3) maybe he’s selling a pair to someone else at school.
Only two of those reasons could make sense, and the third one wouldn’t explain the pair of (hard to tell from our vantage point from across the street but based on the rest of his appearance we’ll go with..) dusty socks he was now snapping straight in order to slip his naked (pure speculation here, but most likely ashy) foot into his sock. The thought came out verbally, “This fool walked out the house with no shoes on.”, I said.
My daughter and I giggled at this kid putting on his shoes and socks while he waited on his school bus. It started to make sense to me, why this kid would get out of his car with no shoes and socks on. Again my mind pieced together a quick scenario of how it all went down.
– Mom yells from upstairs: Son, are you ready? It’s time to go!
– Son, in front of large bowl of half-eaten Frosted Flakes: Yeah Mom. *smack smack* I’m ready.
– Mother comes downstairs, with purse on shoulder, keys in hand and shoes on feet, spots barefooted son in front of a large bowl of half-eaten Frosted Flakes and goes: Let’s go!
– Son makes attempt to explain he needs to put on his shoes.
– Mom: Go get your shoes and socks and lets go!
– Boy runs upstairs and runs back down with his shoes and socks in his hand and then sits down on the bottom step to try and put them on.
– Mom: Boy get yo’ ass up and get in the car! Let’s go!
– Cut to some old dude and his daughter sitting in a beater spying on this kid who just stepped out of car barefoot, with his shoes and sock in his hand. Old dude screws face and thinks aloud, “This fool walked out the house with no shoes on.”