Re: The Beard

Yes, this is a blog about minivans. However, allow me a little latitude for the moment, to take this time out to discuss (yes this is rather late) the surge in facial hair on men.

Now, I grew my beard out about ten years ago out of necessity; the necessity of me not shaving every damned day. But these new cats, they are doing all kinds of things to their beard to make their beard more friendly to the non-bearded. Weekly trims, usage of beard silkeners, beard softeners, beard butters, fruits and berries, etc. to give their beard a certain luster and softness that doesn’t naturally grow out of your face. I’m opposed to such upkeep. It goes against the very reason to grow a beard, which is to cut time in the mirror to a minimum. The last thing a man with a beard needs to be doing is spending more time maintaining a beard, than he would if he just shaved it off everyday.

The growth of a beard is an act of rebellion. It is a bold step into non-conformity that says, we reject the notions of good grooming and a healthy fashion sense. It says, we are not afraid to walk around with food particles in our beard. It says, we are not afraid scratch the necks of loved ones when we are giving out full throttled masculine affection. It also says, in no uncertain terms YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

But I digress, as a long time beard wearer, I’m not opposed to the trend. The more people that wear beards, means the more people get comfortable with facial hair in the workplace. And the more people get comfortable with facial hair in the workplace, means the closer I get to go to work looking like Bill Cosby in Uptown Saturday night. So, let’s keep up the good work gentlemen, you too beard dandies.

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